Strangers On Planes

I pour my heart out to strangers on planes

Every seat’s taken here; travel’s insane

I pour my heart out to strangers on planes

Secrets in darkness to share

Secrets in darkness to share.

Ashes to ashes, I passed the test

Studied psychology, I tried my best

Bonding over our repression discussions here

You remind me of someone, I’m sure.

I pour my heart out to strangers on planes

Every seat’s taken here; travel’s insane

I pour my heart out to strangers on planes

Wishing that I could be daring

I never pick truth over dare.

music & lyrics © Jess KAPS; August 13, 2021

*music introduction*

I pour my heart out to strangers on planes

Every seat’s taken here; travel’s insane

I pour my heart out to strangers on planes

Secrets to seedlings; who cares?

Secrets to seedlings… who cares?

I pour my heart out to strangers on planes

Every seat’s taken here; travel’s insane

I pour my heart out to strangers on planes

Secrets to seedlings; who cares?

Secrets to seedlings… who cares?

It started with Ash. “I like your hair.”

“Do you mean me?” Someone who cares.

No one told me this time to have a safe flight

And my flight anxiety soars through the roof.

Some didn’t think much of the sound

Or of the flight staff shuffling swiftly around

Turbulence, turbulence; chaos abounds

I knew peacefully I won’t go down.

I pour my heart out to strangers on planes

I thought to call you but spared you my pain

So I pour my heart out to strangers on planes

Secrets soon die in the air…

Secrets soon die in the air.

*music*

It all ends with ash in my hair.

Behind

Behind the scenes, behind their stares

I often feel like no one cares

It’s superficial curiosity

Behind the sighs, behind the lies

Behind the times we’ve said goodbye

What’s behind this curtain’s opening…?

Behind closed doors, it rains; it pours

I don’t even know you anymore

But I’ll just zip my lips up like it’s fine

Beneath the shores, the forest floors

The waterfall, the lion roars

I guess I should just take it as a sign

I’ll never be the first one in your line

I’m always falling somewhere far… behind.

music & lyrics © Jess KAPS; May 16, 2021

*music introduction*

If I had a dime for every theory

I’d be a very rich girl right now, a very rich girl

And if I psychoanalyzed your brain right now

Would you take me or leave me… behind?

Behind the scenes, behind their stares

I often feel like no one cares

It’s superficial curiosity

Behind the sighs, behind the lies

Behind the times we say goodbye

This curtain won’t stop opening, you see

This curtain just keeps opening on me.

*music*

If you had the chance to read my mind right now

What do you think you’d find there, aside from cluttered space?

Oh, and if we had the chance to freeze up time right now

Would you place your hand in mine…

So we could leave this world behind?

Nobody's Nomad

*music*

I’m a true *CEREAL* killer

Yes, I kill that cereal!

I leave it in the bowl too long

With expired milk.

Yes, I realize it’s already dead

So you can stop explaining

Get over yourself right now

Go back to your fitness training.

Drink yourself into oblivion

Like you always do

Numb yourself to all the pain

Of past tense me and you.

‘Cause I… am just nobody’s nomad.

music & lyrics © Jess KAPS; May 19, 2017

*music introduction*

I’m a nomad in the desert

I am like a metaphor

If you notice what I did there

You’re a person I adore. J

And I hope it didn’t stress you out

‘Cause I know what you’re like

And if it did, I’m sorry, friend

But you can take a hike!

Oh no—I mean that in the good way

‘Cause I know how you like hiking

I like biking; I like thinking

I like writing; I like dreaming.

I like connecting dots

And finding out the meanings

Tracing circles on and on

Since they lead to beginnings.

And I… am just nobody’s nomad.

*musical interlude*

Yes, I think I wrote this song before…

At least one time, or ten?

It sounded like Regina Phalange

Kina Brandi Lisa Michaelson.

And I didn’t mean to do it all again

I swear—it’s true!

But singing songs and counting stars

Make me feel brand new.

I feel like wandering… ‘cause I’m nobody’s nomad.

Ah, ahh...

Oo, oo, oo...

La da da da da…

Black, White, & Grey

music & lyrics © Jess KAPS; June 14, 2011

*music introduction*

If I had your number

I would text you right now

And if you read my text

You’d probably laugh out loud

I’m not sure what to say

I’m sure they’ll talk, but what do they know anyway?

I notice you

And lately I think you’re noticing me, too

And I don’t know how much of this is real and what is in my mind

I just can’t seem to find the words to say

But if you’re my black & white, I’ll be your grey.

You stop by and stay for a while

Because it’s part of your job, I know

You don’t always have to smile

When you’re feeling low inside

‘Cause I see right through

That strength you wear outside to hide the truth

I notice you

And lately I think you’re noticing me, too

And I don’t know how much of this is real and what is in my mind

I just can’t seem to find the words to say

But if you’re my black & white, I’ll be your grey.

Oh, oh….

You stop by and stay for a while

Because it’s part of your job, I know

You don’t always have to smile

When you’re feeling low inside

‘Cause I see right through

That strength you wear outside to hide the truth

I notice you

And lately I think you’re noticing me, too

And I don’t know how much of this is real and what is in my mind

I just can’t seem to find the words to say

But if you’re my black & white, I’ll be your grey.

Oh, oh….

You think that I don’t see

How much of you is like so much of me?

I notice you

And lately I think you’re noticing me, too

And I don’t know how much of this is real and what is in my mind

I just can’t seem to find the words to say

But if you’re my black & white, I’ll be your grey

There’s just too much to say

But I think this is all that you can handle today

Plus, I don’t know how much of this is real

And what is in my mind

I just can’t seem to find the right words I can say

But if you’re my black & white, I’ll be your grey.

*music*

If you’re my black & white

If you’re my black & white, I want you to know

If you’re my black & white

If you’re my black & white, I’ll be your... grey.

Boomerang

music & lyrics © Jess KAPS; June 5-7, 2012

*music introduction*

If you should push me down into the sea

I would bob back up like a bright red buoy

Or if you release me as a helium balloon

I would burst on a tree branch, falling back to earth soon.

And if you should throw me far, far away

Like a boomerang

I’d come back again; I’ll return again.

One thing I’ve learned from this life that we see

Is to focus on the giving more than what we receive

And no matter the foolish things we do

No force could separate me from you.

And if you should throw me far, far away

Like a boomerang

I’d come back again; I’ll return again.

Doo doo, doo-doo-doooo, doo doo, doo doo-doooo, doo doo-doooo….

Our lives are made up of more than what we know

All we can do is try to reap what we sow.

If I should push you down into the sea

Would you pop back up like an orange buoy?

Or if I release you as a helium balloon

Would you get caught on a tree branch, dropping back to earth soon?

And if I should throw you far, far away

Like a boomerang, you could return again, but would you come back again?

Oh, please come back again…because I’ll return again.

Daylight Savings End

music & lyrics © Jess KAPS; November 6, 2021

*music introduction*

We gain an hour tonight
And I only want to spend it with you.

If I had one wish, it'd be this
Would you care to make it come true?

You're like this virus that has infected me
'Cept I really don't mind.

Is that a strange thing to say?
It's just the first thought that popped into my head!
And so I shared it without refrain.

You allow me the space to do these things
And you know that I'd do the same.

Yo sé lo que dije pero
Quiero pasar mucho tiempo contigo
Yo sé lo que dije pero
Quiero pasar mucho tiempo contigo

Y simplemente no puedo resistir
Y simplemente no puedo resistir.

Oo, oo...

Am I writing a new song now?
I suppose these lines are just writing themselves.

It's like I don't even have to try
Exactly how I feel when we're together.

Whenever I'm with you
And I wanna be with you.

Yo sé lo que dije pero
Quiero pasar mucho tiempo contigo
Yo sé lo que dije pero
Quiero pasar mucho tiempo contigo

Y simplemente no puedo resistir
Y simplemente no puedo resistir.

You're a person who I could easily fall for
If I haven't already...

Yo sé lo que dije pero
Quiero pasar mucho tiempo contigo
Yo sé lo que dije pero
Quiero pasar mucho tiempo contigo
Yo sé lo que dije pero
Quiero pasar mucho tiempo contigo

Yo sé lo que te dije pero
Quiero pasar mucho tiempo contigo

Y simplemente no puedo resistir
Y simplemente no puedo resistir
Y simplemente no puedo resistir...

Weightless

music & lyrics © Jess KAPS; March 4, 2017

*music introduction*

I sometimes wonder what it’s like

To feel so unattached from life

To float weightless in outer space

The stars my only saving grace

But I’ve got pressure all around

Each noise I feel, each piercing sound

Each artificial light that shines

The gravity that hurts my eyes

But I won’t waver

I won’t falter

I must stand my ground

I refuse to get sucked down, down, down

Down, down...

I show up late; they gawk and stare

My back is turned; I feel their glare

I spin around; they praise my name

Turn back, they laugh; it’s all a game

But I’ve got puzzles figured out

I’ll keep it to myself for now

A hero got sucked into hell

A phoenix rose; it’s just as well

But which am I…?

Oh, can you tell? Can you tell?

‘Cause I won’t waver

I won’t falter

I must stand my ground

I refuse to get sucked

Down, down, down

Now, disappear from view

Now with you I’m through

I won’t waver

I won’t falter

I must stand my ground

I refuse to get sucked...

Feel

Ohh, ohh...

Am I a fool to look at you

The way I do, the way I do?

If you only knew what I’ve been through

To get right to

This place

Ohh, ohh...

You look at me eventually

You lift your head up from your phone

What’s goin’ on? What is your deal?

I want to know

I want to feel

Ohh, ohh...

We wonder why we sabotage

We do not trust at all

We share a dance, search for romance

In every dropped phone call

Now is the time to give it up

Maybe there’s something here

I feel your heart beat instead of mine

Maybe the signs are clear

Ohh, ohh...

Am I a fool to look at you

The way I do, the way I do?

React

*music introduction*

I brought you coffee one time at work, or did you forget?
You claim you're bad at remembering things...
I saved that text

I'll try to celebrate your happiness with life
But understand, it's not that easy for me
I still can't get it right

When you say, "It's the little things in life that matter most"
Well, I said it first, you know
But I don't mean to boast
No, I don't mean to boast

And when I say, "It's time for me to find someone like that"
I don't mean just anyone
But I'm a 'fraidy cat
Yes, I'm a 'fraidy cat

And it's so much better this time, sweeter than the movies
But are you being honest with us?
You like jumping into these things

I'm not trying to demean your status; I'm just asking
I'm a perceptive, spaced-out fool
I notice what you're masking

When you say, "It's the little things in life that matter most"
Well, I said it first, you know
But I don't mean to boast
No, I don't mean to boast

And when I say, "It's time for me to find someone like that"
I don't mean just anyone
But I'm a 'fraidy cat
Yes, I'm a 'fraidy cat

Oh, oh, whoa-oh...

If I were to tell you, I wonder how you'd react
Maybe your flirtatious ways were always meant to attract
Why do I feel attacked?
Am I getting sidetracked...?

'Cause when you say, "It's the little things in life that matter most"
Well, I said it first, you know
But I don't mean to boast
No, I don't mean to boast

And when I say, "It's time for me to find someone like that"
I don't mean just anyone
But I'm a 'fraidy cat
Yes, I'm a 'fraidy cat
Oh, I'm such a scaredy cat...

I wonder how you'd react
I wonder how you'd react
I wonder how you'd react.

Dore

music and lyrics © Jess KAPS; May 24, 2020

Well, hey. Congrats
You figured it out
But I’ll keep it to myself for now
Allow
It to fester inside
Like a wound that won’t heal
Or mold that you think you know
But it goes so much deeper than you know
It grows and it grows
Down underground hidden where none can see

We sang this song years ago
I’ve heard this tune before
What makes you think it’s different now?
We’ve been through that door

So kiss me, you fool, if you feel it
G-d dammit
What’s the big deal?
Why’s it taken you so long?
Do you ask the same of me?
Do you relive memories?
Tracing all their lines, searching for a sign?

We did this dance decades back

I long to feel your skin

My mind is brimming with desire

Won’t you dive right in... and breathe again?

I’d help you this time

Promise we’d find

More common ground than we’d found

Like the sounds that we know to be true

Music all for you

I’d take you to the moon, but the side hidden from view...

So tell me that it’s different now

Am I the one you seek?

Or is this just another game?

I’m running towards the peaks...

We sang this song years ago

I’ve heard this tune before

What makes us think it’s different now?

We’ve been through that door

We’re always wanting more...

Snow in the Berkshires

I am as awkward as I am pretty
As selfish as I am generous
As tired as I am awake
As broken as I am whole

I am as much about the inside
As I am about the surface
And as much about the outside
As I am about the soul.

*music*

And if anyone tells you otherwise
About me, they are lying
But if someone tries to feed me something else
Is that the truth?

Because I don’t devour honesty not given as a gift
And I won’t accept your burden just because it comes from you.

*music*

And it’s pouring out my window
When I expected snow
And it’s snowing in the Berkshires
Oh, how I’d like to go

And then I get a phone call
And he’s talking about the Berkshires
And I don’t know where that came from
But the words just seemed to flow

And sometimes all I want is genuine appreciation
Though projective identification ceases to impress me like it did

And no, “half empty yet half full” does not quite sum it up
Computing with your brain can lead to problems with your heart.
Problems with your heart...

*music*

Unspoken Oceans

There’s an unspoken ocean
Deep within me
It chokes out my voice
Drowns as it dances

The salt in the sea likes to swim on my tongue
Waves tease my hair
While the weeds pull me down

For nothing’s as simple as image implies
And anything’s effortless if it’s worth... while.

*music*

You’ve an unspoken ocean
Inside your house
It looms in the spaces
You thought you cleared out

You sit on the couch
Feel the ripples, they pass
You don’t dwell too much
On the time as it passes... by.

And all of the wasps died and I wonder why
All of the wasps died and I wonder why
All of the wasps died and I wonder why
I wonder why, I wonder why

All of the plants died and I wonder why
All of the plants died and I wonder why
All of my plants died and I wonder why
I wonder why, I still don’t know why...

*music*

An unspoken ocean lies between us still
Do you feel it surrounding these paths that we trail?

Can we learn to breathe with gills that we’ve found?
Surrender to loveliest, loneliest... sounds.

Your Smart Mouth

*music*

“Why do you like me?”
He asked me over and over again
Maybe it has something to do with your smart mouth
I felt it from the start with that shit you sang about
So I wrote it down
Then watched you leave and never turn around

And I’m not thinking about tomorrow
And my mind is not on yesterday
People come, they go, they beg, they steal, they borrow
Give and take; they’re all just wasting... time away.

*music*

I can’t predict the future; I ain’t got no crystal ball
And even if I did, my gracelessness would surely break it
But truth be told, I do not want to see what fate’s foretold
I’d rather allow my life to unfold organically

‘Cause I’m not thinking about tomorrow
And my mind is not on yesterday
People come, they go, they beg, they steal, they borrow
Give and take; they’re all just wasting... time away.

What makes you different than anybody else?
What makes me different from all these other clowns?
The only difference between us and them is knowing
That the fabric of our lives lives in the grey
And we’re not wasting our time away

And I’m not thinking about tomorrow
And my mind is not on yesterday
People come, they go, they beg, they steal, they borrow
Give and take; they’re all just wasting... time away.